I wrote and read this for my creative writing class- rant based on my philosophy paper (Hegel's master and servant dynamic from Lordship and Bondsman section-) for my spoken word component - click link- it will take you to soundcloud and click the play button :) -->   reading

homework

Sitting in a library cubical

solitude to do work or to isolate, 

I love the breeze that caresses my neck

when a body whisks by.

I had a wonderful opportunity to have a visit with Western's writer in residence, Ivan Coyote. My first intro to Ivan was in our creative writing class, it was announced she would be a guest speaker the following week, so I researched her work before the date. I read some excerpts of her writing and watched many of her videos. She is a storyteller. Completely engrossed (and with the odd tear) I watched and listened to every video I could via YouTube and her website. Awesomeness. 

In our creative writing class we are working on short stories. This is new to me, but I trudge onward, pushing aside my self-degradation. I chose a personal story, difficult subject matter lending to a cathartic process.  Within this process were many more processes to produce a written piece.

I met with Ivan yesterday. I was of course very early, mostly from fear of finding the right building and room. So I sat on a bench outside the University College building and did some deep breathing. I did so to ground myself and avoid the high probability of bursting into tears.

I finally went inside because I was freezing, gave up on trying to control my temperature alongside my breaths. I walked inside. I stood in the doorway for a while and gauged my watch for the appropriate moment to walk up the stairs.  

In the reception office I sat in a chair and waited for the minute hand to reach the top. The sound of footsteps emanated   from the hall, and as the secretary guessed, it was her. (Another deep breath)

It was time.

She asked what I wanted from her in regards to my piece of writing in front of us. I fumbled for what to say and mumbled something. She clarified, I answered in too many words to be clear. I should have said, “Rip the shit out of it please.”  After I assured her she didn’t need to take it easy on me, a wonderful communion took place.

She told me to close my eyes and imagine what it was I was trying to describe, tell her what I saw, and after I spoke, she said “Yes, write that down.” She discussed, shared, and referred. She read to me passages aloud.   Recommended authors to read, specific works in light of mine.  Delivered straight forward facts and realities of practice that bestowed upon me eagerness, work I need to do.

I am proud to have a short story with Ivan's penned edits on it's pages.

every other weekend we have pj days, we watch movies and play video games. Lately the boys have been interested in horror films. I try to find something semi-appropriate. They heard about killer tomatoes and that was definitely on their list, as well, my oldest has been battering me for ages to download 'the blob'

well this was there day. we watched the 1958 version of 'the blob' which i couldn't help but watch the entire flick. Also 'attack of the killer tomatoes' which i think confused them a bit because you couldn't see the tomatoes devour the humans, i think big fake or at least drawn on mouths would of made them feel a bit better (ff through some of that movie) then we watched the 'gremlins' i wasn't too sure on this one because it did scare me when i watched it so long ago- but they were good-lots of laughs. no nightmares.

i downloaded the twilight zone as well. I loved the old series even though it scared the pants of me- some of the stories. I think i will browse through that one first before i let them see it. (i made a horrible mistake of letting them see King Kong.....)

what next?

....

september

sounds of screams, explosions, quacks and innaudable phrases leap to my ears as i decide to sit and write. saturday am and kids are up early playing video games i thought i might have a bit more quite time today. I am pleased and petrified surviving my first 2 days of school. my mind is swimming forth effective tactics to make it through; rearranging purging and purchasing. A looming panic with a dash of calm possibility permeates my chaotic. 

Finally got some things accomplished I can feel good about. It has been a long decompression for me recovering from a semi manic school load. Questions with a multitude of options flourish my mind and I am just trying to relax into it as opposed to coming to a screeching halt of avoidance – which I must say I am quite adept at. My avoidance seeps into my everyday living. I think I deserve an award when I get some dishes done.

It is a new year and I hate that whole hype with resolutions. I have always been proud in resolving not to resolve. But alas, I do wish to better today for tomorrow. There is a long list to choose from, but what pertinent choices to unfold? Some burn in the back of my mind and I don’t quite want to bring forward and admit aloud. I would like to secretly go forth and unveil in glory what I have accomplished - but that helps me hide, and sometimes disclosure is necessary to embark.  

And sometimes fear holds us back which I need to say aloud.

Cheers to the Leaps Forward!

We made it! stayed up past midnight. We had a celebration of eating freezer to oven food, with cream soda and watched a Series of Unfortunate Events and Jack Black movies into the NewYear

Silly almost made it. i think 1130 

A little break was had at 1030 where we lit some sparklers that have been sitting in my glove compartment for ages, thought this may be an opportune time. Had a couple each then i lit off a spinny firecracker and raced them back inside due to the noise and amount of smoke- not that anyone would tell in these parts but... anywho twas fun.

Found an online countdown- and watched the official time drop, cheers!'d our gingerale and finished watching Nacho Libre.

Then i made them go to bed.

Thinking about a nap today.